As Muslims, we are expected to treat one another with respect and be our brother’s keepers. We follow our perfect religion and try to practice the five pillars of Islam and the teachings of our beloved Prophet Mohammad ( .(صلى الله عليه وسلم
We pray, fast, live our life in a manner that is pleasing to Allah and hope that when he judges us on the day of Judgement, that our scales of good deeds are heavier than the bad. Can you say that you live your life in this way? Or do you live your life gossiping and carrying news about innocent people who do not cause you any harm?
In the Quran, Allah refers to such actions in more than one surah and many verses to remind us of this. Islam teaches the believers to validate their sources, and not engage in conjecture. Repeatedly in the Qur’an, Muslims are warned about the sins of the tongue.
“Do not concern yourself with things about which you have no knowledge. Verily, your hearing, sight, and heart — all of them will be called to account” (Qur’an 17:36).
“Why do not the believing men and women, whenever such [a rumour] is heard, think the best of one another and say, “This is an obvious falsehood”? . . . When you take it up with your tongues, uttering with your mouths something of which you have no knowledge, you deem it a light matter. Whereas in the sight of Allah it is an awful thing!” (Qur’an 24: 12-15).
“O you who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what you have done.” (Qur’an 49:6).
“O you who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others; it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former). Nor let some women laugh at others; it may be that the (latter are better than the (former). Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames. Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed. And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.”
“O you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible), for suspicion in some cases is a sin. And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? No, you would abhor it…But fear Allah. For Allah is accepting of repentance, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an 49:11-12).
The Prophet Muhammad ( صلى الله عليه وسلم) was asked a question about Ghibah (backbiting). Someone came to him and asked, “what if what I say about my brother is in fact truth?” Prophet Muhammad ( صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied, “if you are right, you have slandered him, and if what you say of
him is not true, you have reviled him.” (Abu Dawud)
Prophet Mohammad ( صلى الله عليه وسلم) also discussed the punishment of backbiting; he said that during the Night of Ascension (Mi’raj), he saw a group of people who were scratching their chests and faces with their copper nails. He said, that when he asked, ‘Who are these people, Oh Jibril?’ Jibril replied: ‘These are the people who ate flesh of others (by backbiting) and trampled people’s honour.’ (Riyad as-Salihin)
How to Avoid Gossip and Backbiting
Backbiting and gossip are one of the main causes of the destruction of personal relationships. It destroys friendships and families and fuels mistrust among community members. Islam guides us in how to deal with our human tendency towards gossip and backbiting:
- Recognize that Allah sees and knows all things, while our own understanding and view is limited.
- Recognize that nobody is perfect; we are all lacking in some way.
- Recognize that Shaytan seeks to fuel doubt and mistrust among believers.
- Speak well or keep quiet. The Prophet Muhammad ( صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “One can greatly beautify himself with two habits–good manners and lengthy silence.” On another occasion, he said: “Let the one who believes in Allah and the Hereafter utter good words or let him be silent.”
- If you hear a rumour about someone’s misfortune, strive for compassion rather than continuing the gossip. Remind others not to gossip, and if they don’t listen, walk away. Allah praised such action in the Quran: “If they hear gossip, they walk away” (Quran 28:55).
- Avoid spying. Spying fuels, the trading of secrets and misinformation, and it creates a climate of mistrust.
- Seek to make excuses for others. If a person does something that you think is wrong in some way, try to look at the situation from other person’s point of view. If we do this, we are less likely to dwell on the negative and seek to talk about it with others.
- Repent to Allah for any mistakes you make and seek the forgiveness of the person you hurt.